Sex, and the Balance

The most centered people have the fewest kids. Generally, they are not religious. During their 20s they are sexually active, but not with very many one-night stands (though if they started in their teens it’s possible). Because they are trying to stay balanced, centered, and true to themselves, they are looking for something more substantial in a relationship. They haven’t lied to themselves about what they want, nor believed the lies told them. By the time they meet that special person and choose to spend years and years of their life with, they have thought enough about relationships and kids to not want too man. Introspection through a centered life has led them this way. They’ve experienced sex before, and have learned how to integrate it into their life BEFORE getting married or tying any knot. This lets the relationship grow naturally, without presumptions or expectations or other outside barriers.

On the other hand, there are centered people from the other end. Generally, they are religious. During their 20s they generally abstain from sex out of principle for what they believe. They don’t hold out as long to get married because, well, sex drive is a strong beast. So they sometimes get married to abate it, sometimes not.  Those who marry after abstaining tend to have very strong relationships with their partners, though inexperienced in the world apart from each other. To me, they rarely seem as calm or centered when compared to centered people who don’t wait until marriage to have sex. I think that’s because they don’t spend as many years getting to know themselves and learning how to balance life’s many variables on their own as those in the previous paragraph.

So what’s the deal? The sex drive is strong, and to go through your 20s without having sex (in marriage or not) is essentially starving a part of your humanness. Those who carefully explore sex, philosophy, their own interests, and even religion in their 20s have a very serene aura to them (with or without someone in their life). Those who dismiss sex as hedonistic outside of marriage, from what I’ve seen, tend to lack centeredness, openness, and creativity. But hey, that’s just what I’ve seen. Sex takes you to another place, and it usually takes years to balance that in the ever-changing web of our lives.